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Speculating Kim Jong-un: North Korea’s future ruler

By now you’ve heard that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il, 67, may or may not have pancreatic cancer. The Associated Press reported, according to South Korean TV station YTN, Kimmy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when he was hospitalized for a stroke last August.

Of course, he’s not going to be excited in admitting his sickness. (Pancreatic cancer is one of the worst cancers to have, after all.) You can tell though, just by looking at him, that he’s not exactly in ship shape.

According to the American Cancer Society, he shouldn’t last more than a year.

It seems like great news that someone as (you can fill in the blank) as Mr. Jong-il won’t be a problem to us for very much longer. Think it through, however, because you know that he’s got someone just as wonderful as he is lined up to succeed him. While it has yet to be officially announced, all signs are pointing to his youngest son Kim Jong-un.

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Bad rap of Blackwater U.S.A.

Private contractors have been relied on by the armed forces since the end of the Vietnam war when the United States decided on an all-volunteer military. With an estimated 160,000 private contractors working in Iraq now, some 50,000 of them operatives, or fighters, it is impossible to question the necessity of their numbers if we are to sustain the “war on terror.” However, it appears as if Blackwater USA is doing more to inhibit success in Iraq than to aid it…or at least it was back in 2007.

While escorting a convoy of U.S. State Department vehicles to Baghdad, Blackwater guards opened fire without provocation, according to U.S. military reports, killing 17 Iraqis.

Iraqi authorities, at the time, demanded that all contracts with Blackwater be severed by the U.S. government within six months, and that $8 million in compensation be paid to each of the 17 people killed in this apparent slaughter.

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Friendly North Korea: A joy to Americans

Looking for a summer vacation getaway? Let me suggest the beautiful, friendly North Korea, a.k.a. the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK). There you can visit the beautiful Tumen River, which shares a border with Russia in the northeast, or swim through the Amnok River on your way from North Korea to China. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to experience a flood catastrophe like what happened in August of 2007 there.

If this isn’t enough reason for you to book your tickets right away, let me tell you more. You thought that the U.S. had a free, democratic government? Well, we don’t have it in our name like the DPRK does. As we have all learned before names of countries with the words “democratic” and “people’s republic” makes them instantly legitimately safe and intelligent.

Just don’t forget to get in touch with the DPRK’s tourism organization, called “Ryohaengsa” because it will get you set up with one or two permanent tour guides. (That is, as long as you’re not from the U.S. or South Korea, because if you are, you won’t be permitted to enter the country.)

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