I don’t know about you, but I’m a huge fan of the old “MXC,” formerly known as the “Most Extreme Elimination Challenge,” which really had the same concept as its American copy, however, it employed the use of hilariously outfitted Japanese commentators (Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, both wearing their famous plastic Sumo wigs, every episode), hilariously maintained and delivered voice-overs for all the participants (”Right you are, Ken!”) and simply, plain old hilariously…well, everything.

SPIKE TV was also responsible for MXC, and likely its shining popularity. (ABC vs. SPIKE… You get my drift.)

This is what I think ABC should have followed for one of its newest prime time shows. But no. Of course not.

The ABC show, instead of using hilarious Japanese people (is that politically incorrect? well I don’t care because it’s true) it sticks husbands and wives, roommates, brothers and sisters…the monkeys and their uncles, together for competition in one very boring obstacle course that they have to strive to get through and progress to each successive round to win the ultimate prize of $50,000.

Did I mention there was no prize for the winning contestants in MXC? Nope. They endured giant “boulders” bashing them in the head, massive sumo wrestlers beer-belly busting them in the face, smacking face-first into plastic rocks in the water, “triking” off course and falling several feet into “dirty bog water,” running full speed into brick walls, giant balls with scary painted faces thrust at them while trying to keep balance on a few-inch log….all while keeping a green apple perfectly balanced on their head. The list just goes on and on with what these people went through. All for competition. All for the sake of plain old good entertainment. This is precisely what “Crash Course” lacks. It’s simply not funny.

Combine all of this with two hosts that no one’s ever heard of — Orlando Jones (”MadTV”) and Dan Cortese (”Veronica’s Closet”) — and you have a regular flop on national television, a flop that I could see from a mile away, a flop that’s going to cost ABC big when the show falls flat.

Then, you have some people complaining about how this show’s point seems to be to make fun of these American contestants trying their way through this ridiculous obstacle course. Well, duh. Of course that’s the point. Someone (idiot) thought it would be funny, funny enough to get a bunch of people to watch the show. That’s a joke in itself.

Mark my words…

And ABC… I’m available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. I take my coffee black, and I think a nice million a year should do it. Thanks.

June 22, 2009 is a day that will go down in TLC infamy.  It is the day its cash cow (and the only show that people really tuned in to watch instead of accidentally stumbling upon something interesting during a boring night) may have started its trek toward a fiery demise.

Jon and Kate Gosselin filed for divorce in the Bucks County Courthouse, creating a gossip columnist’s wet dream for the next few days.  The stories that have flooded the news about this couple have ranged from various bouts of infidelity with teachers and bodyguards, attending events separately to being extremely hostile toward one another (exactly what the show had displayed in body language as their relationship deteriorated).

Congratulations to the tabloids for beating the story into the ground, getting exactly what was needed to keep any semblance of interest in what is just another celebrity divorce (that TLC is sure to cover in all its glory for the remainder of the season).

The question remains, however, would this relationship and the lives of their eight children have been different had the media not tried to report on every lunch trip, grocery stop, gas fill-up, ice cream outing, beach vacation and baby burp?  Granted, they would not have had the money to live comfortable lives and the kids probably wouldn’t have had the same luxuries and experiences that were paid for by TLC in filming the show.  One could argue that their lives were better with everything they have done the last five years as examples.

Then again, how many kids would think taking a trip to Disney World is better than having parents to go home to until you’re ready to move off on your own?

Would the scandals have happened at all had TLC not put pressure on the couple to act and perform as they needed them to for ratings, forcing them to seek comfort in something other than what they did for work?

Could they have forgiven each other and worked beyond the problems of late if the media hadn’t ripped the closet door open to their private lives and threw the skeletons into the streets for all to view?

It’s a lot of speculation, as entertainment often is, but it brings up a good question that should be thought of before the Octo-mom gets her big break and a shot at ruining some more multiples’ lives.  What kind of backlash will TLC receive from the public for its big show failing, possibly putting these children in a child labor law violation and essentially collapsing a family that’s already got its work cut out for it without having a divorce and court separation to contend with?

Jon and Kate Gosselin were received warmly because of their marriage and support of the kids.  We can see by how the media treated the Octo-mom, with her just-over-poverty living status, owning more children than crazy cat ladies have feline companions, single and without a job.

Was signing Jon and Kate worth it?  Probably for the bottom line on the balance sheet over the last few years, but with everything that has happened recently, would they do it again with public opinion so very different now than it was five years ago?

Will Eyeworks regret signing a deal with the human baby factory?  Only time will tell.